What is "True Marriage?"

Our very close friends came and stayed with us this past weekend. They are wonderful people and are just beginning their marriage journey. Saturday morning we had a little "girl" time and got to talk about how each other was doing and how our marriages were doing. I love these moments when you get to talk about "real" life and not just the surface stuff. So we got to talking and my beautiful friend shared with me how she had one of the toughest weeks of her life. She talked about real moments of which one in particular stood out to me and that was she felt like maybe she didn't make the right decision in getting married. She communicated to me that she'd been looking to her spouse to fulfill expectations, wants and needs in her that he couldn't possibly fill and wasn't designed to fill. So after surviving the toughest week of her life she actually found herself with some new revelations on her spouse and marriage that were pretty astounding for such a newly married person to have. One of them was very astounding and is one I'd like to talk about today and that is true marriage is about serving your spouse and putting their life before your own. I got married at the tender age of 21 and did not have a clue what marriage was about. While I knew it wasn't going to always be roses and rainbows, I really didn't understand the sacrifice and unconditional love required to make a marriage work successfully. Through years and years of trial and error (a future blogpost will delve into our history as a couple) I discovered what my beautiful friend discovered so soon in her marriage and that is when you get married you decide to put your life including your emotions, body, mind, hopes & dreams, wants, needs, everything into the hands of another person. You decide that you are no longer your own but are now one with this person (Genesis 2:24) and that their life is more important than your own. Ok. You may be thinking, whoa, that's a little intense but by biblical definition we no longer belong to ourselves in marriage. We belong to one another (1 Corinthians 7:4). So am I saying that when my spouse doesn't have my best interest in mind and is selfish and hurts me that I am supposed to communicate maturely, forgive consistently, and continue to love unconditionally?....in a word, yes. Society informs us incorrectly, over and over, through media, TV, celebrity relationships, music, etc. that marriage is merely a means of happiness for two individuals and when you are no longer happy then your marriage no longer works. Trust me, my friends, there is happiness in marriage but it's more than happiness we seek. We seek real relationship. One that is full, deep, challenging, growing, evolving, supportive, and rich in love. One that decides not to give up in the face of terminal disease or adultery or the loss of a child. One that can weather the storms of this life for a lifetime. As you disoover and put into practice true marriage you will find that by putting the life of your spouse before your own and serving them as Christ serves us, the church, your marriage will abound in the richness of the fruit of the spirit and you and your marriage will be more fulfilled than ever before. Next week's blog will be about putting this concept into practice! Until then I pray blessings on you and your marriage! Laura