Rob and I have recently been walking with a couple through some tough but actually very common circumstances. Their story, in a nutshell, is they fell in love at a pretty young age. They got married and had a baby right away. Over time, the exciting things like marriage and babies started to wear off and they had to get down to the nitty gritty of married life. One spouse found themselves feeling completely empty of affectionate love for their spouse and was starting to gravitate towards someone else who seemed more attractive and compatible. Before this spouse did anything irrevocable they reached out to us and I am so glad they did! The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it. I know it’s a cliché phrase but it is so true! Often when we get married we think “I found the one and so yea, we will go through tough times but this love I feel for him or her now will carry us through later.” It’s just not true! Love is not automatic. It is something that has to be chosen over and over again. It’s cultivated slowly through temptations, trials, and challenges. Those feelings of love that you feel in the early stages of relationship will only carry you for so long. You have to learn to love or you will find yourself in my friend’s shoes. Looking again for those feelings you once had. Thinking that you’re just not attracted to your spouse anymore. You’re different people. You fell out of love. And the list goes on. The biggest component missing from marriages is the individuals’ relationship to their Creator. There are needs in us that can only be met by our loving Father, God. We often look to our spouse to fulfill needs in us that they were just never meant to fulfill. This puts a pressure on our spouses that can never be relieved. So until we continue to look to them for that fulfillment then we will never be able to truly and fully love one another. It’s simple, God is love; when we aren’t in relationship with God (Love) then how can we show love to others? Maybe you are flirting with adultery out of a desperate attempt to “feel” love again. Or maybe you have been living in a relationship seemingly empty and unfulfilling. I challenge you to begin to water your grass, so to speak. How do you do that? First, invest time in your relationship with God and second, be pro-active in loving your spouse. Choose love. In due time, you will have the greenest grass in the neighborhood.