Needy Nelly!

So the title of this blog isn't totally telling of the content. I actually call myself this when I'm feeling extra needy! haha! BUT today's post is about needs within a marriage and how sometimes we have to step back and figure out why we are feeling needy and ask what God wants from us instead of what we want. Married people are still individuals; I mean, we don't share EVERYTHING, right? I certainly don't think the same thoughts or have the same behaviors as my husband (sometimes I wish I did so I could run 5 miles like he does!). As individuals God is still working on us. Philippians 1:6 says that God is faithful to complete the work he started in us. So that means there's a beginning, a middle (seemingly long middle sometimes) and an end to the work God started, which ultimately means (insert long pause or drum roll?) ...that your spouse is not a finished work but is actually a work in progress. Which means they are not perfect. Which means they still need A LOT of grace. We expect a lot from each other. Sometimes those expectations are met and sometimes they aren't. Sometimes our spouses fall short and that's actually ok. I've recently been reminded that our spouses go through STUFF as individuals. They deal with insecurities, fears and struggles individually, that have nothing to do with the marriage. I've found that it's ok for me to lower my expectation during times like this. Meaning, I don't require so much attention to my needs and wants and focus more on my spouses needs. It allows me to really be there for my spouse so they can focus on the STUFF their dealing with. It's ok to put our marriage goals on hold so that our spouses, as individuals, can really process and grow. In the meantime, this actually allows us to dig deeper with God. To really allow God to fulfill those needs and desires in us while we support and encourage our spouses. Your needs and wants are valid but I believe that as you give yourself to your spouses needs and lay down your life for them, God will fulfill those needs you have and your marriage will actually grow. If this resonates with you I encourage you to take action. Allow your spouse to process with you what he/she is walking through. Let them know that you are supporting them emotionally and spiritually and then allow God to fulfill you while you support your spouse. Your spouse will feel so loved and as you give your spouse room to grow, your marriage will ultimately grow.